My Little World

2008-01-17T11:27:00.000+08:00

RELOCATED.

Please relink, and continue visiting(:
Thank you for staying faithful.

www.serendipidee.wordpress.com

XMAS 2008

2008-01-16T23:20:00.001+08:00

Whee! One of the most amazing Christmases in my life, it has to be documented someplace. More, to come, if I'm in the mood.

Yayness.

friends.

2008-01-16T23:17:00.001+08:00

(click to enlarge, as usual)

I'm even thinking of printing it out, colouring it and pasting it on my homework file. Hmm.

Tip your hats to Tibs

2008-01-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

Tip your hat to Tibs, ladies and gentlemen.

At eleven pm the bus comes as per usual. And I the ever unsuspecting board Tibs 911, Woodlands (yes, in big red bold alphabets and numbers) thinking "Yes, I'll be home on time,".

Then you see a little cockroach scuttling across the aisle as you board. Well.. no biggie. Sometimes the bugs are just unlucky (which I will touch on later in detail). Then you see another scuffling lazily across the window. Make that two unlucky bugs. As you sit down, you see another one crawling across the window an inch from your face.

And that's where I draw the line. A thick, face, bright red line. I stood up fuming (and trying to lessen the amount of me touching any part of the bus at all) and starting counting every cockroach I saw.

Four cockroaches plus two smaller ones, crawling all around the bus. One was this close to my face. I mean, a few cockroaches I can understand, sure. Sometimes bugs get into buses, you know, when the door opens and a few unfortunates get blown in or get walked in while sleeping on someone's shoes, then are transported miles away from their other buggy friends.

But six cockroaches?

That is way past the coincidental unlucky little fella that gets stuck in someone's juice box. That's an infestation.

You'd think the dumbass bus company will stop infested buses from leaving the interchange without first sending in a full extermination team to wipe out the growing population of two-inch long commuters before they scared the paying commuters off the bus.

But oh nooo. They don't do that. It's not even the first time this has happened to me.

Am I just paying you for getting me to my destination safely (safely being a slight overstatement)? Well guess what. Getting me to my destination trying very hard to balance in the middle of the aisle and not touch the seats for fear of a cockroach scuttling up my arm and taking residence in my nose is not 'safely'.

From now on, I'm walking home, even at eleven pm in the night. Either that or take another bus, and then walk the remaining distance home. And if I get robbed or killed at eleven pm in the night, I fully blame Tibs and their dumb infested buses.

They should just dismantle all their horrible ugly buses, smudgy windows and all, wash and disinfect each and every one of them (rinse and repeat), and for goodness sake invest in some thorough exterminations.

...stupid Tibs.

2008-01-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

Do you know what's good? Violent Acres' good. Go visit Violent Acres. Now. She rules. (www.violentacres.com)

--

I don't think I have a lot of artistic talent, to be honest. It took me almost forever and it doesn't look too good.

But hey, I spent time on it and I'm proud of it. So there :)

I was going to write a long long paragraph about how I would fry anoyone who dared rip my picture off and reproduce it on the Net, but then I realised I could just use it as a medium to advertising.

Whee.

--

I also realise how my blog once again has 0 substance. How very demoralising. Looking back upon my archives, I realise my inspiration and opinions come in bursts. Yes, I still think about the starving African kids and God and hating chainmail (they can all be found in my November archives), I still fume about coming back to school (December archives, and I'm still proud of calling them a bunch of manipulative bastards), I just don't blog about it anymore.

Keep watching this space. I'll come up with something interesting again soon enough.

2008-01-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

And I don't think you know how bad it hurts
'Cause you don't have to see the scars
But if it's just a game you're playing
I don't think I'll make it to the end
I don't think I'd last that long
Baby, I'm not that strong
So if you care about me you've gotta stop acting this way

Oh I'm leavin' today
I'll say goodbye to my favorite face

At times I think I love you
And at times I know I've finally found the one
But it's times like this that make me feel
The game of love has only just begun

Leavin' - Plain White T's

whine whine whine (like a sick puppy)

2008-01-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

New year, new start.

Self-Improvement:

Hmm. Now what if I was a better person altogether? Then I'd be happier and I'd be doing the world a favour, that's what. And so.

I am going to start learning to socialize properly, be more confident, more cheerful, dress like a supermodel (etc etc), and basically be someone everyone just likes more. It's not as easy as it sounds. So if anyone wants to give me a present for any reason whatsoever (maybe you just like me?), go for self-help books yo. I'll thank you in advance.

I'm taking lessons too. I'm making it a point to get at least a 75% on my French, and then maybe another sad attempt at the piano thereafter. I just never had the patience.

School:

My head aches from having all my hair pulled back for so long. Gah, I'm not used to having my hair pulled back anymore. Not to mention me feeling like shit after stuffing myself into that dumb unflattering white uniform and being thrown into all that competition and peer judgement.

D:

School kills. Now mourn for me, you lot.

But still. It's all positive from here on down, I've decided. Even if I have to pull my mouth back into a smile (grimace?) and nail it in position with my tiny pink stapler and a box of rusty staples. Gone with the moping and groaning. I'm going to work hard through the year and do well.

You'll see.

In General:

I'm determined to make the world work right for me this year. I'm going to put in my best efforts. I'm going to do it right this time. I'll do something for myself, for a change.

I'm going to turn my life around.

Please, please, let it be enough.

2008-01-01T18:36:00.000+08:00

It sure didn't take too long for 2007 to end. And I'm glad it's over. All 2 of thousand seven of it. I made mistakes, I hurt people, I didn't exactly enjoy it.

God, please, please give me strength to handle the next wave.

2007-12-28T12:49:00.001+08:00

omgosh, omgosh.

:D

merry xmas :D

2007-12-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS :D

--

Things that make christmas the best holiday of all time:

-walking down orchard roads as slowly as you like
-jostling people walking along orchard road
-singing and dancing to old carols
-staying out late
-spending two hours on your outfit and face
-camwhore-ing as much as humanely possible because you actually look good, for once
-poking your head out of the sunroof and screaming 'MERRY XMAS' to random passer-bys, causing many people to stare back and drop whatever they are holding
-eating (because the food is all good)

I love Christmas.

:D

literary blockage

2007-12-19T20:53:00.001+08:00

oww, sorethroat ):

ow ow ow ow ow.

haha!

2007-12-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

Real smart, people :D

stupid bra ads.

2007-12-13T23:35:00.001+08:00

I was in a horrible mood, I wanted to go home. I was in a horrible mood, the MRT station was crowded, I was going to overheat and die, and I wanted to go home.

What was in my way? People. And more people. They were all bunched up at the MRT gates, moving really slowly. Like they were moving in water. And unless it flooded and we turned amphibian within the hour, it shouldn't take that long to pass through the bloody MRT gates. I wanted to scream at them. I wondered moodily what was wrong with the lot of them, then happened to glance up. And then I realised.

The TV-thingamajiggy that usually screens videos about public transport safety and terrorism? It wasn't there. Instead of some serious-looking guy in a white shirt telling us to please inform our staff or call 999 about suspicious articles, there was a woman wearing nothing but a black frilly bra, pouting over her shoulder.

It was a freaking Triumph bra-ad.

At the MRT station. And the reason why everyone was moving so slowly was because the men were watching the ad. They were glancing up every nanosecond or other, and thus causing the gush of slow traffic behind them. What the hell.

After I got over missing my bus and fuming at SMRT, I thought over the matter. And I have a question.

So you advertise your product over the MRT gates. As much as I hate that, I have to admit that it is somewhat a good idea.

The only thing is, your ad contains a half naked woman brandishing skimpy clothing. Who will look at half-naked women in skimpy clothing the most? Men. And hello world? Men don't buy bras. Unless they have boobs. And if they do then they're not considered men.

I say, if you want to get the attention of women who actually buy your products, get some men to swing bras around.

i wants.

2007-12-12T22:26:00.001+08:00

I WANT A PUPPY :D

how i realised the reopening of school would be almost hell.

2007-12-10T00:07:00.000+08:00

I went to get my books on Thursday.

I wore one of my best shirts, my best jeans, and matching heels. I figured, hey, I'm going to school. I might meet somebody I like there and knock their socks off. Or more likely, I'll meet someone I don't like, and then knock their socks off because they'd be in uniform having CCA (and I'll be the hot stuff).

Anyway, point is.

We passed the oh-so-familiar roads. The traffic junctions I know almost as well as I know the back of my hands. The front gates of my school. My mood dipped, dipped some more, and then some. I didn't realise just how generally upset and negative just going to school would make me. It totally sucked, even though I was really just going to school.

I moped my way out of the car, scowling darkly at the stark familiarity of the everything around me, and up the steps to the general office. I didn't care how I looked anymore, and I wasn't looking out for people to spite either (as I had fantasized about). I just wanted out as soon as possible, so we could get to my sister's school and buy her books, after which I could go home and sleep my terrible mood away.

The less time I spent at the bloody phrontistery the better. It was, after all, eating away at my holidays.

When the security guard saw me approaching along with a thunder storm, however, she told me the bookshop was closed and that I should have read the booklist more carefully, it clearly stated the specific days in which the bookshop would be open.

It took awhile for the words to register, and then I beamed up at her and asked (chirped, rather) her where I could get my IC.

My bad mood slowly slipped away on the way to my sister's school (so many memories, I love primary school), and by the time we got to Popular to get my books and stationery, I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again.

I won't pretend I understand why my stupid secondary school has such an effect on me, because I really don't. I never liked going to school and I don't think I ever will. Sure, the lessons can be interesting. Sure, the people can (notice the word and the italics) be nice. Sure, there are some very few days in school I actually recall enjoying. Sure, I feel good being an actual student and living (I will highlight in another post the difference between living and surviving, if I remember).

But I hate school. Point-blank.

If there was a reason why I don't need to drag my sleepy, uncooperative ass out of bed every morning, throw on my uniform, then get myself to a place full of people I don't want to know, I snatch at it with my full body weight; and I do.

Well, don't I need an attitude adjustment. I tell you, the moment I realised I wasn't enjoying secondary life like I visualised myself doing, I sat down in my little bernice thinking corner and thought of all the reasons why I wasn't enjoying it, and what should be done in order to correct that. If it worked at all, I would be looking forward to school reopening.

In the end, I thought, well.. fuck that. I don't have time to figure it out. I'll just get through it, and then everything will be perfect. Who cares about enjoying myself, it's just four years. And then I'll be free to do whatever the hell I want to.

After the O levels (I'll study hard and do well, you'll see), I'd gather a few friends and we'd go overseas. We'd save and scrimp, then go for a long vacation at some beachy island. Living off cheap hotel food and skinny-dipping in the beautiful sparkling waters. Snogging hot strangers and then leaving them hanging dry. Waking up at three in the afternoon and watching the sun set every evening. We'd be living the life.

Take that, you controlling, manipulative bastards.

I tell you, there are so, so many reasons why I should never even consider going to JC.

(And I wonder how long the determination to do well will last, it'd better last long.)

get a life, losers.

2007-11-26T19:12:00.000+08:00

If I receive one more email telling me exactly how horrible and painful a death I can expect if I don't repost it, I am going to make the sender have that horrible and painful death he wishes upon everyone else.

What is wrong with you people anyway? Do you honestly believe that monsters will crawl out from under your bed and eat you if you don't forward one lousy little email? Are you really shallow enough to think that some horribly disfigured humanoid will come out of your closet and dig your eyes out of their sockets if you don't pass along a threatening message?

(Do you know how many threats I've cleared from my inbox? Do you know how much I'm still alive and kicking right now? Alive enough to kick your butt, that's how much.)

What if I tell you then, that the Master of All Darkness will eat the whole lot of you losers if you pass along any more annoying, useless chain emails?

There's a bunch of people out there who want their emails to be known to the world (for what reason i really do not understand), or who are just lousy enough to have all the time in the world. And how do they do that? They compose a long email about how the reader will be cursed with imminent death if he doesn't pass it along. And the reader just passes it on like the idiot that he is.

I am so pissed off. Stop sending me stupid messages about how chain-mail karma is out to get me because I don't forward the email to 50 people. Stop telling me my relationships will fail for seven years because I don't pass along a pathetic reach for net-fame. Stop threatening my family, my friends, my life, just because you're a sad, daft, pathetic loser with no friends, so much so that you take and revel in all the attention you can get, even if it's in the form of general annoyance.

Stop wasting everyone's time, and do something productive.

Get a life, losers.

arty-farty.

2007-11-25T11:57:00.000+08:00

The stuff that happens in art museums;

random.

2007-11-22T10:46:00.001+08:00

Feed the starving African kids, dammit ._.

LP!

2007-11-14T01:34:00.001+08:00

And despite the lack of moshing and the 'bery not-on crowd', LP concerts are still one of the best things in life.

I won't be able to sleep tonight, I'm high.

freakish.

2007-11-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

Libra

Unexpected news about a person from your past will shock you -- but in a good way.

... Horoscopes can be so freakingly accurate.

just because

2007-11-10T18:33:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah. That's why.

Have you sometimes pondered over something for such a very long time, so much so that you get a permanent nagging voice at the back of your head because a) you can't figure it out, or b) you can't understand it? And then when you finally get it, you get this huge sense of relief because it's out of your head for good and you think; Oh yeah, that's why.

(there was a nagging voice at the back of my head when i first started thinking about it but then couldnt understand how people can still starve when the world is so developed uh huh im hearing voices in my head now yes i am are you scared of me yet huh)

Something else got into my head recently, and did it's nagging thing at the back of my mind.

Our problems are so huge to us. They take over everything we do, and then after awhile that's the only thing on our minds, while we try to find ways to get over (or ignore) it.

Now, after that thought came out, the one that followed was, The problem, no matter how big it is to you, is never as big when you tell it to someone else. No matter how dramatic you make it sound, no matter how much of a sob-story you make it out to be. Why? Because they have their own problems to attend to. And they don't need the extra hassle of being in your shoes and trying to experience what you're feeling. (Oh yeah. That's why.)

But God. God loves every single person. And no matter how big a problem a person is facing, it is equally big in every way to God. If it matter alot to you, it matters a whole lot to God, too.

And I wondered. God loves so many people. And each person comes free with their own sets of difficulties, setbacks, troubles. How does He tend to each and every one of our trivial problems, help each and every person without bias, without judging?

And then one day when I was thinking about it, it hit me. He is God. He loves every single person with a pure and unbiased love, because He is God (Oh yeah. That's why). It is possible for him to take every one of our trivial problems, even the ones we don't know about yet, and tend to them, care about them, because He is God (Oh yeah. That's why).

And our problems are as big as they are to Him as they are to us. He takes them from us. He will never abandon us in a rut. He will always care about each and every one of us, unprejudiced. He will love us unconditionally.

Why? Just because He is God (oh yeah. that's why).

you should all clock yourselves with a sledgehammer

2007-11-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

The world demands. The world screams (and whacks you upside the head with a wooden hammer) for cooperation. And the world expects deliverance.

People demand. People scream (and whack you behind your back so you puke on the carpet) for cooperation. And people expect deliverance.

Whatmoredoyouwantfromme. How far over the edge do you want me to go.

Because I give up. And you vultures can have my carcass. I give up. Are you happy now? Huh?

2007-11-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

A bunch of selfish bastards walk this Earth.
(and that includes you reading this, mister)

I've been wondering for a few days now. Why spend hundreds of millions on an indoor sports stadium, on the integrated resorts, on the many material objects the country could very well do without; when there are poor starving kids in Africa, when in the US alone, 13million kids go to sleep hungry each night?

It bugged me. It made me stay up thinking. If I were one of those 13 million children, I would be hating the world right now. I would be cursing at everyone, screaming injustice to the skies in the desperate hopes that the stars would hear me. Or maybe I would be too hungry to think anymore, so much so that it dulled my senses, that I resigned to my starving fate.

Is that how the world treats kids? By starving them into resignation? The sad truth is, no. Only the unlucky kids, which consist of over 30 million children.

Thirty Million Children are going to bed hungry and have resigned to their fate simply because the world has turned its back on them. Thirty Million Children are going to bed hungry because nobody buys them food. Thirty Million Children are going to bed hungry because you, yes you, have just bought a hundred dollar dress, a two thousand dollar laptop, a five hundred dollar phone. If everyone just gave a single dollar, it would make a difference in their lives, but the world is just too fucking selfish to deliver. (Yes, the people who actually find it in their hearts to do something about it, kudos to you. I sincerely, honestly respect you.)

It hit me when I was picking out my electric guitar and choosing two hamsters for my sister's birthday. Thirty Million Children are starving. Yet, because I'm a selfish, self-absorbed bastard, I'm spending two hundred on a guitar and twenty on hamsters. Instead of using the money to feed poor homeless kids, I'm buying myself entertainment, pleasure, contentment and comfort. Instead of using the money to make others' lives better, I'm taking two other lives into my hands.

To those Thirty Million kids, do you know why you're becoming skinnier and skinnier as the days go by? Do you know why you go to bed crying each night with bloated stomachs and painful diseases? Do you know why your friends are stripping the trees down like deer in winter?

Because the world would rather pay for entertainment and comfort rather than for a cause they cannot see, that is not an active eyesore in society. Because the world would rather ignore something that they have failed at so disappointingly and obviously, and revel instead in the shameful glory of the things in which they have succeeded.

Because the world is just too fucking selfish for its own good.

I HAS ELECTRIC :D

2007-11-04T20:57:00.000+08:00

My amp carrier, my amp,( and most importantly, meet...) my new electric, Chrissy! Isn't he just hot?

(And if you don't agree with me yes i will eat you oh yes trust me i will)

330th Post

2007-11-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

Post number 330! What a nice, rounded number. I can't wait for post number 777. Imagine how long that would take me though. A year? Two years? Three? Thirty? Most likely one of those among the latter.

Would any of you be reading this, a year, two years, three years later? Twenty? Would I have deleted my blog by then? Would I have turned into such an annoying, chirping, backstabbing bitch (one of the many that litter this earth), so much so that nobody bothers coming over to check out if I'm still breathing? Will this blog even matter to me as much then as it does now?

I feel the same fear I felt as a very small kid (four? five?). It messes up my stomach and makes me feel queasy. It messes with my head and I feel the old friend-slash-adversary paranoia creeping up again. Yes, paranoia was a frequent visitor, a good friend, a daily customer, when I was younger. Everything from imminent death to the end of the world, from Santa Claus to fairies, scared me.

Paranoia was a big problem for me. I'd stay up worrying. I'd bit my nails to the quick (and that's another issue for another post). And then I'd worry that my fingers would fall off because I bit my fingernails (a tale someone told me to try and get me to stop biting my nails: if you bite your nails, a ring forms around your finger and your finger falls off. Obviosuly, it didn't work). I wrote a special prayer to Jesus, asking Him to please not let my fingers fall off.

I spent ages hanging around my mother, asking her questions. Does Santa Claus exist? What if the world crashed into the sun (as it would in the future)? What would happen if I died? Would it be like sleep, like black nothingness? Would I still be able to think?

I was scared of everything.

Truth be told, I have no idea how I overcame it. I guess I grew out of it. Because the last I remember, I was ever as paranoid in primary school.

If you're wondering what sparked off this memory, it's because this link reminded me of all the times I stayed up worrying in the night, wondering how small I really was and what it was really like out there.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071031/sc_afp/usastronomy2_071031201428

.... How I wish I never read that article now.

I'm queasy.

random thoughts

2007-10-29T21:20:00.000+08:00

After browsing through my blog (and checking up on the stats of the past few days), I realised I have not posted anything even relatively substantial since the time I was studying for my exams. I also realised that I did mention somewhere in my previous posts that I would try all ways and means to keep my brain alive.

Therefore, what I am doing (or have not been doing) is obviously not doing what I wanted it to. And thereforefore, I will now study. I will try topping the class next term. I will attempt heights. I will revive my moribund brain.

into the dark

2007-10-28T23:28:00.001+08:00

Best MTV I've watched in a long long time.. and I've watched alot of MTVs, trust me.

And to watch this same mtv on a different background, try www.michimichiyay.blogspot.com.

unwell

2007-10-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

bernice.

2007-10-24T14:28:00.001+08:00

Bernice --

[noun]:

A real life muppet

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

OBS

2007-10-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

This time tomorrow I'll probably be exhausted, homesick, mucky, but happy. OBS. No internet, no phone, no contact whatsoever with the outside world, for 5 days (even though I'm positive I can find some sort of loophole somehow, somewhere).

This is what brian had to to comment about the mosquitoes where I'll be going;

dreams

2007-10-18T15:17:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning pretty much exhausted.

You would be too, if someone came after you with a ten-inch penknife in your dreams. I spent a good hour running along a nonexistant highway flagging a taxi with him hot on my trail. Don't ask how I lasted so long with my less-than-average muscle build and severe lack of stamina.

It's called a dream for a reason, people.

8 facts.

2007-10-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

I have been tagged by someone to list down 8 facts about me. And then I realised that I have recently done something to this effect in the past month or so. Therefore, I spent 10 minutes sifting through last month's archives. Finally giving up, I looked at August. Yes, I did it in August. 10 obscure facts about me. And so to refresh your memory:

1. I play Sims only so I can torture the little people.
2. Obsession: I absolutely have to wash my hair as many times a day as possible.
3. Eating ice-cream after ten makes me veryvery high.
4. Old-fashioned romance is the only way to go.
5. I consider waking up before noon on a non-school day a crime.
6. P6 was the best school year of my life.
7. I want a wedding of white and red, at a beach in Paris.
8. I like white chocolate.
9. I love being high above ground, but I'm afraid of climbing up and down.
10. I have all of Britney Spears' albums.

Therefore. My 8 facts have to be something of a different calibre. Something that most people already know, something that doesn't consist of that much substance. Now hummm.

1. I am scared of overactive cats.
2. I am (pretty much) easy to please.
3. I need my personal space.
4. Waking up before noon on a non-school day is criminal, and it makes me very very cranky.
5. Either I hint way too subtly or the people I hint at are just really stupid.
6. I own two rabbits.
7. I am uninstalling my Corel programme and reinstalling it because it has a problem and won't run on my computer anymore.
8. 10 obscure facts are very much easier to write than 8 commonly-known facts.

ITSOVER.

2007-10-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

IT'S OVER, IT'S FINALLY OVER.

And I can smell the sweet sweet taste of freedom in the air, in the extended weekend. In the doing-nothing of every hour, every minute. No studying. No sleeping early. No school. There is never enough time to do nothing.

Ahh, nothing can be better.

I can do whatever I want again, without the strain of exams breathing down my neck. Anticipating the results, however, is a whole different story I am not going to go into tonight because its past midnight and I am sleepy. The weight is off my chest and I can now (like I said before) fly.

Yet I feel my brain dying away and nestling down in its little corner again. After going for months without studying, and finally cracking open the spines of my books again, I realise that my brain actually functions rather wonderfully when stretched.

I already miss my brain. Sheesh. I don't believe I'm actually saying this, but yes. I will be doing something to force my brain into action. I can feel the nothing-ness in this post, and I am not-freaking-satisfied.

And now my new resolution is to find a way to keep my brain out of its corner while not fully pulling it out of the shadows either.

There you go, Bernice. You just can't ever be happy with what you already have, can you?

We hoped for the best
And let go of the rest ♥

homicidal carbon dioxide.

2007-10-11T11:55:00.000+08:00

An actual question and (my) answer to my chemistry test today:

---

Describe the extraction process to obtain iron, giving chemical equations when necessary.

Iron is put into the furnace at very high heat. Something then happens to the gas in it and the gas is made homicidal, where it will break down the unwanted substance in the iron ore and leave pure iron untouched, due to its allergy to pure iron. Pure iron will cause the spontaneous combustion of homicidal gases. When the heat of the furnace rises even more, however, this homicidal gas is killed and iron can then be obtained from the furnace. This homicidal gas is actually carbon dioxide, which is liberated when iron is first enters the furnace. Somewhere along these lines there's even a slag.

---

I fully deserve every single one of those six marks.

I mean, seriously. I have no idea how iron is extracted, except that carbon dioxide and slags (whatever they are) are somehow involved. I therefore came up with the wonderful idea of coming up with my own version of how irons are extracted. And you gotta admit, it didn't come out so bad, did it?

WHATIF.

2007-10-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

Scenario: I get retained or streamed to normal.
Result:

I'll end up outside school in a leather jacket and motorcycle boots (I just always liked how that looked on heroines) with shuriken stars lining my belt and a knife down my boot.

I'll run into school and shuriken a certain someone to death. Then I'll chop his/her head off and and throw it into the pond. Power to the little people!

Thereafter, I'll go look for everyone's report cards and (somehow) bring it upstairs, where I'll climb out the second story to the porch roof and shred it all into tiny pieces and WOOSH. Throw them to the wind.

After which I'll stab myself with the knife and my broken bleeding body will fall just below the school name (in red, no less) and land on the do not step on the grass grass.

Ahh yes, the sweet sweet taste of bitter irony :D

OVER [soon]

2007-10-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of mugging for a subject I'm not interested in, to pass a subject I never wanted to take, so to comprise of my 50%, so I can get a promotion to a class I never wanted any part in, so I can go to a school which isn't at the bottom rung, so I can get a job that (hopefully) doesn't bite as much as this does. Wow. Isn't my life just the bowl of cherries. And you wonder why you don't want to be me.

Therefore, I am taking a break from this depressing predicament, to get back in touch with the world as I know (knew) it. Only to realise that everything's been changing, and everything just has to change so much when everyone is just slightly out of touch, so in the end everyone's lives become so much the more busier, so much more the hectic, because they have to keep up with both their social and academic halves.

One of the only few comforts is that this time next week (or in fact, a mere 5 days down the road), I wouldn't care. I would probably be out, celebrating the sweet sweet taste of freedom in the air and tap-dancing across people's roofs. Okay, not so much of tap-dancing per se, but still. With the weight of this off my chest, I bet I could fly. There you go. I'm betting you a hundred bucks I would be able to fly.

So if it's a mere five days, why do I still feel so stinking rotten? Almost every week the clock's out of control. Sit around for an hour, you've sat around the whole day doing nothing. So why is it when you sit down with your books the minute hand gets jammed around the centre and stops moving altogether?

Ohh, well, isn't the world just oh-so-gorgeously-wonderful? Don't you just love it to bits? In fact, I love society so much I just want to hug it and never let it go (I want to hug it so hard, then drop it over the edge of the cliff over the horizon and into the sea, with an anchor tied so tight to it you can see its nonexistant fats drooping over the chains).

I give up. I can't write a normal post in this state. Somehow or other studying (or society) always makes me this sarcastic freak. And since they're both related - Well! Joy to the world!

it's back

2007-10-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

My favourite picture in my art supporting studies.

hide another mistake.

2007-09-30T22:56:00.001+08:00

I'm getting over like I knew that I would
I'm feeling older than a younger man should
But one of these days i'll finally make good
And hide another mistake

This is a model tongue
This is the start of what's already done
This is the part that you eat when there's nowhere to turn

-the 88

Prfft. Don't think I'll be blogging until the end of exams.
Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

happy birthday to me!

2007-09-25T21:26:00.001+08:00

A big thankyou to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and gave me presents [:

Been wasting time on some of these tonight:

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.

You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.

If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.

You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

You Are An Intro-Extrovert!

Sometimes you're social - sometimes you're shy

You've got a bit of an Introvert / Extrovert split going on

You enjoy all sorts of situations. Parties, small groups, and alone time.

Too much of one, and you'll long for the other. You need variety!

Chances are, you've got both serious and fun friends - and they don't get along.

Are You An Extroverted or Introverted Girl?

HEE.

2007-09-20T19:03:00.000+08:00

Obscure Nonsense

2007-09-17T16:31:00.001+08:00

On a more cheerful note. 10 obscure facts:

10. "Ma is as selfless as I am" can be read the same way backwards. If you take away all the spaces you can see that all the letters can be spelled out both ways.
9. "One thousand" contains the letter A, but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an A.
8. A Chicago law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. (My house is on fire. I better eat everything right now so they don't go to waste)
7. 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour.
6. 259200 people die every day. (And I'm sitting in school doing nothing about the starving kids in Australia)
5. 27% of U.S. male college students believe life is "a meaningless existential hell."
4. 85% of men who die of heartattacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives.
3. A Baboon called "Jackie" became a private in the South African army in World War I.
2. A bowling pin only needs to tilt 7.5 degrees to fall. (No wonder I suck at it)
1. A fly hums in the middle octave, key F

--

Obscure (yet somewhat hilarious) laws.

Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
3. You need a license to sell condoms in Washington state.
Texas:
1. A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
2. In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
3. It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
4. It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person when, and how you are going to kill them.
5. In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.
Vermont:
1. It is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
2. In Vermont It's against the law (not to mention impossible) to whistle under water.
3. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week - on Saturday night.

I wonder if we have some funny law like this we don't know of. Like 'it is illegal to feed ants on a Sunday night' or 'it is illegal to sing Hallelujah in the evenings'.

nthng to display

2007-09-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

So tired of hiding
So tired of trying
So tired, so exhausted
Inside I'm just dying

So tired of numbness
So tired of pain
So tired, so exhausted
Of walking this road in the rain

So tired of being scared
Of the insecurity
So tired, so exhausted
I can never get enough sleep

Bury it all, beneath the earth
Sweep it all under the hearth
Once more I'll sleep good
because it'll all come back again too soon

--

Computer went out of memory(less that 100mb), which is quite a feat if you ask me. Started shutting down on its own in the middle of the day. Windows player, gone. MSN conversations, gone. Windows, gone. Notepad, gone. One by one. And then poof, shut down. Perrrfect.

Things are starting to go down the drain, too. Worse and worse. And I want to clap my hands over my ears and just friggin' sleep.

Sucks.

donut day [:

2007-09-09T21:44:00.001+08:00

[click to enlarge]
"The school system is more of a test for being able to acquire knowledge than preparation for anything worthwhile."
- quote from Nick

YESYESYES. i LOVE you. Hang on. Explain to me why I go to school again?

---

Donut day! If only everyday could be half as fun. Ohman. Then school wouldn't worry me as much. One of the funnest parts of it was again, the lets-all-sit-around-and-talk-nonsense time, and the time we all sat down to watch the lightning.

Heh, I'm weird that way. So sue me.

The games weren't bad too. Even though I wish the sun wasn't so hard on us all. But ohwell, you can't have everything can you, and what we have is already pretty fly.

And damn, I don't have any pictures. ]:

---

stupidity.

2007-09-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

Stupidest thing I ever said:
"What part of don't jump out of the cage do you not understand?!"

LOAD OF CRUD.

2007-09-04T23:00:00.001+08:00

And like something acidic and rotten bubbling just beneath the surface, it's all coming back to eat away at my flesh once again.

I can see its hulking shadow lurking just around the corner, creeping round ready to pounce the moment I turn my back. And I'm scared. I'm so scared it's going to get me, like it's gotten me so many times before.

All I did was look around. But I don't see people. I see fragments. Because they all broke. Like little porcalain dolls left on the floor, like snowglobes left forgotten on the mantle, somehow, someway or other, they got smashed into a million tiny little pieces.

The monster got them, too, and now they're all broken.

And I'm going to break too. Into a million tiny pieces, just like them. And it's going to be so hard to find myself again. That out, I don't even know if I have or know myself in the first place.

I need help. I want a sense of normalcy in my life again. I know it's there. It's always been. And it's just out of reach.

I'm afraid. And I want answers, I demand answers. But I never get them. And I'm so scared that one day pieces and fragments will be what's left of me, and everyone around me. What then? What then?

I don't want to be broken, I'm scared. I don't want to be alone, I'm scared. And I don't want to go forward, because I'm scared.

If only there was a way to go back to being a kid. And most everyone was whole. And trust was so easy to give and take. And the school, the world, was still your friend.

Now the only escape is to be numb. To block it all out. To run so the monster can't get you, so it can't break you. To keep running and running.

But I can't see where I'm running, I'm exhausted, and I'm so freaking tired of the dark. And I don't know what I should do now. Either way, I'm going to break too. And I'm scared.

Tell me. What's a girl to do.

Youth Alive 07

2007-09-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

Better than YouthAlive06, hello YouthAlive07! (Despite its lack of light sticks)

THE Banana

2007-09-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Taken from Uli's blog! at http://www.blackpaperhearts.blogspot.com

-----
Okay so does this remind you of something?In the future 10 years,Jo and Kay with their kid...

And the kid is....

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Wavven the banana!

2007-08-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

Let me light up the sky,
Just for you tonight.
Let me help you fly,
Cause you won't have time.
Cover your eyes,
Get your disguise,
They won't ask you why,
They just watch you die.

And it's still so hard to be who you are,
So you play this part,
The show goes on.
You've come this far with a broken heart,
Yeh you've come this far,
And you've broken.

Light up the sky - Yellowcard

Ten Little Known Facts

2007-08-26T19:22:00.000+08:00

Ten little known facts about me, tagged by KAYLIN.

1. I play Sims only so I can torture the little people.
2. Obsession: I absolutely have to wash my hair as many times a day as possible.
3. Eating ice-cream after ten makes me veryvery high.
4. Old-fashioned romance is the only way to go.
5. I consider waking up before noon on a non-school day a crime.
6. P6 was the best school year of my life.
7. I want a wedding of white and red, at a beach in Paris.
8. I like white chocolate.
9. I love being high above ground, but I'm afraid of climbing up and down.
10. I have all of Britney Spears' albums.

high above me.

2007-08-26T14:15:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite, since last december. Sadly they didn't make an MV though, so.... best there is.

meanwhile

2007-08-25T00:11:00.000+08:00

It's 12:14, I'm very sleepy, I'm depressed and I'm waiting for my hair to dry. PRFFT. Some post this is. Can somebody smack me over the head with a two by four?

Perfection.

2007-08-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

In the dark of my perfect world
Dig for a box in the earth so deep
Prise it open with my heart of stone
Cold, so cold, the beauty of righteous defeat

In the cover of my perfect world
Pull open another curtain sleek
Look for the beautiful masks
The one facade to this masquerade so bleak

In the shelter of my perfect world
Cry those tears nobody sees
Grasping at straws for something, anything
To take away the pain, to catch my fall slowly

In the perfection of my arid world;

The music goes on
Another perfect masquerade
As I shut the box
And numb my deepest emotions, perpectual dismay

The smiling goes on
That beautiful facade
Yet I close my eyes
I press my tears, my fears, deep back down inside

Time to put it all back inside
It has had its fun
Time to put it all back inside
So everyone will know I'm just fine

---

Good Eengrish.

2007-08-19T16:38:00.000+08:00

READ THIS
---------------

Teeching (expetially engrish) dese days is ackcherlly nort an easy profession to sukseed in. to you no why?

Well, exactly for that reason itself. According to society, illiteracy seems to be an epidemic that has long since been curbed, but apparently (and surprisingly, shell-shockingly, mind-numbingly) not. Just because we haven't hit the ground writhing, bleeding, screaming from the impact; doesn't mean we're not falling.

Now stay with me. Think. Imagine this scenario. Because of all the failed english educators that the ministry let slip past (inadvertently, of course) probably because of their excellent, omniscient qualifications; the lithe, perfect minds of students that parents have entrusted in the hands of the educators, that are in need of careful moulding, that have so much unreached potential, that parents put such high hopes in -- Well, what happens to them?

These brilliant, unmoulded minds spend hours and hours in school (the precious time that can be spent gently directing them to the right road) looking out the window at trees, grass and clouds, playing with imagination, just so to keep boredom at bay. Or otherwise, being confused and jabbed in the wrong direction (with pointed fingernails to the smalls of their backs) by obvious spelling and grammar errors.

English teachers. And what next? Society crashes. Bammo. There you go. See that light red dot? The one at the bottom of the sea? Well there it is. Singapore. The wonderful, multifariously amazing, perfect country that sunk due to the weight of the burden that consisted of imperfect Singlish and barely copacetic, egregious English. Let us all tip our hats, ladies and gentlemen.

A new generation of intelligent, erudite, all-rounded youths. How, when there are no role models? A new breed of learned, logophilic english speakers (Speek Good Engreesh Campaign, remember that?). How, when one's youngest sister is better at spelling and grammar than the educator in question?

Why this post, you ask? Well, thank my teacher.

Credit to Kaylin, Ashre, Brian.
And of course, the the educator in question, because there would be no post otherwise.
----

Ohh the joys of being able to be retarded. That is My World in front of me, a collection of used disposables and cutlery.

(Once again, as always, coverup because I look stupid.)

S500i;

2007-08-14T17:12:00.000+08:00

My S500i is love.

BAYBEATS 2007

2007-08-05T18:30:00.001+08:00

We rocked baybeats 2007!!

After alot (alot being an understatement) of being whacked around, flying all over the place, bopping like crazy and jumping like a maniac on something, basically moshing the night away, this is what becomes of us.

We went, we moshed, we came out alive.

2007-08-05T18:28:00.001+08:00

DJ-ING.
with chicken on the inside of my pockets and nicking food upstairs

PYRAMIDs.

2007-07-29T20:26:00.001+08:00

I was on a PYRAMID. I felt like dying. But hey. Congratulate me. I got to the top in the end! Everyone had to help me (and seriously, i thought i was about to fall off and die) and assure me that I was not going to fall into the pit of sand farfarfar below and break my neck.

And that's Kaylin looking retarded and Ashre looking like he's on drugs or something. HAHA. You don't get a photo opportunity like that very often.

Still, being up there was pretty cool. Pity I didn't have my phone though. Could have taken a picture of the view. And surprisingly you can't see my face in both pictures. Sheesh.

wtbf.

2007-07-27T16:43:00.001+08:00

/wtbffffff. ==

2007-07-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

293rd post! Pretty nice cutting number, isn't it (:

The Business Times! down at SPH where the 93.1 DJs work. Not gonna post about it now because I don't have the pictures yet, and it won't be the same without the pictures.

Peifang and Kaylin fishing for the legendary 50c coin that fell into the tomyam soup.

... Fine, so it was me who dropped it in.

--

Works from the NAFA gallery. I want to be able to do something like this one day.

2007-07-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.

Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.

It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.

But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.

You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,206,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

2007-07-22T19:13:00.001+08:00

(Click to enlarge) The list of dead people that turn up in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Now leave me alone so I can read and rot in peace.

while.

2007-07-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

And while people mill all around me saving the world and making the world a better place for kids, doing last-minute revision for nonexistent tests, making out in their very own world down at the corner of the stairwell, I stare at the downward spiral of slightly mouldy-coloured scum (going down the drain, yes, that's it) that's beginning to be a semblance to my stagnant life.

Sheesh.

School bazaar today. And after sitting--let's see, four hours?-- in the hall, pouring glitter all over the floor, personalising pens with green sand, playing hangman, longlong talks about ouija, and freezing the hair off our heads; we finally finally got off our tired butts and headed down for the action. Which was, actually, pretty much more than we expected, even though some stalls ahem, ahem were a pretty big disappointment.

Love my henna. (or however you spell it)

--

Tear by tear
Whisk me away
Bring me so far
Until there's nothing left to say

Cell by cell
Turn slowly to ice
Numb, so numb
All my emotions freeze inside

Thought by thought
Slipping from my mind
Soon they'll be gone
Numbness all you leave behind

One by one
The tears they dry
Turn up the hurt
But there's nothing left to hide

End.

midnight.

2007-07-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.

Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.

Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.

You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You're a bit outgoing, a bit reserved
Like most people, you enjoy being social
But you also value the time you have alone
You have struck a good balance!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

2007-07-13T10:44:00.001+08:00

New colour-combination! Green words are the clickables, and the grey words... are the grey words. Now you know what can be clicked and what can't be.

Lift upgrading right outside my door. Maybe by the end of the year I won't have to run up and down the stairs every single time I'm late. Hmm. Yeh, that will be a great improvement in my life.

Who would have thought? I turned up for school for just one day, and then suddenly my whole class seems to think I've been hospitalised. To clear the air, no I've not been hospitalised. I don't know why everyone seems to think so. And yes, I will be going back to school on Monday, much as I would rather stay at home and sleep the days away like I have been.

Ohman the work load is going to kill me...

Too lazy to think of anything retarded right now. So until then. Pffft.

Singing her songs to me
Beneath the marquee of her soul

2007-07-12T22:16:00.001+08:00

2007-07-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

When you're sick the world doesn't slow down for you. And that sucks.

Turn a little faster
The world will follow after (:

2007-07-03T14:15:00.000+08:00

Connie Talbot!

2007-07-03T14:08:00.001+08:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Highlight for clearer view.

longgg.

2007-06-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

I finally got friendster. Now nobody can say 'BUT WHY' to me whenever they ask. So there.

My book just came. And I'm being published(:

--

School is boring the brains out of me, so much so I can actually feel my brain mass disappearing out the window. I get so bored I spend the whole day doodling on my book or doing another subject while the teacher goes on and on. I get so bored I start to act retarded after recess just to see if I still can be normal despite sitting around doing nothing (literally) for five hours, because I am so afraid I am going to turn into my classmates if I don't retain my self-attained, worked-for Bernice-ness.

I drew different emotive faces on the each picture of bread in my F&N text just because I was that bored.

I sit there until flag raising. I sit there until we're sent back to class. I sit there while the teacher rambles on about nothing at all. I sit there while the new vice principal rambles on about knowledge. Oh, what's all this sitting around? It's called school. Nimrods.

The one and only lesson I concentrated in is geography because that is the only lesson in which I learn something, and that I actually understand the teacher.

Shit I hate school so much.

--

But if you say that you understand then you're lying,
But if you figure that I'm alright now, I can't deny it,

2007-06-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

In a bit we will be in school. And I will be in my sad sorry excuse for a class wishing I was somewhere else.

Oops, I accidentally poured gasoline all over and dropped a lighted match, I am so !@#$% sorry.

whee.

2007-06-22T14:02:00.000+08:00

I'm so high and bored (ever heard of a weirder combination?) right now I'm scaring myself.

I've been listening to the 3 days worth of music I've been missing while being at camp, and now all I want to do is post lyrics after lyrics after lyrics, but since lyrics will bore people.. I'll try to stop myself from doing just that.

-♬-

With you it all fades away
No more words to say
No more you and me
Cause the music left with you

My last serenade, Joey Moe

2007-06-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

Did a little switcheroo and magic on the songs on the songs at the sidebar. Now I'm dead beat.

2007-06-22T00:03:00.000+08:00

(if radioblogclub had this song on its list, it would be here. but since its not. well. you can always
imagine, cant you?)

We should get jerseys cause we make a great team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealously, they can see that we've got it going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
YOu're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right

Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right

To the power of Relient K!

RANdomness.

2007-06-16T22:17:00.001+08:00

temptation

2007-06-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

I am so, soooo very sorely tempted. Gahh. I cannot have this staring in my face while I attempt my essay. No motivation at all as it is.

It is so easy to just click and spend USD10 on my holiday assignment. But then again I would hate myself for it for the rest of the year. Besides, essays have a certain appeal. More appeal than newspaper reports anyway.

I am never going to finish on time.

whee?

2007-06-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

Have only two weeks of holidays to go. Oh where did the !@#$% month-long holiday go.

That leaves me with only two weeks for tons of homework and catchup. And everyone knows I have alot of catching up to do if I even want to get back in the game again in the first place, after throwing myself face-down out of it in the middle of sec2. No question about homework. If I don't finish my homework, I get eaten by my teachers, throw half my CA marks down the drain, and I won't be able to live with myself when I get my report card again. End of long sad sorry story.

This is seriously beginning to blow.

-♬-

He said
Two tickets to Iron Maiden baby
Come with me Friday
Don't say maybe

2007-06-06T18:39:00.000+08:00

-utters bimbo scream complete with appropriate hand movements and hyperventilates-

comparison

2007-05-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

Same person? Indeed /:

One with a crazed insane look in his black goth-panda eyes, the other who looks like another random person who has a broken cupid-arrow in his heart. The same person with the most lithe, multifarious face I know. Marvel the vast difference.

(No, despite apparent evidence to the contrary, I am not obsessed with the lead singer of mcr)

But, still the number one serendipity in my heart
(see if you can guess where this scene comes from):

-♬-

Despite waking up so early, I actually enjoyed the morning. And why not? The same old debate spark is tugging at my heartstrings again, only this time it's a smaller group and it's a podcasting competition. The same free meals, the same people (the girls anyway), the same laughter.

When passion's a prison you can't break free

whee.

2007-05-29T17:29:00.001+08:00

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.
You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.
You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.
You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.
While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.
You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.
You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

RANdom.

2007-05-29T17:04:00.001+08:00

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose
Maybe they'll leave you alone (:

-Teenagers, MCR

You know, the lead singer of MCR actually looks like a normal, random, everyday human being without his makeup on.

.. He should always have his makeup on.

-♬-

So much for a new post everyday.

If my movie wasn't taking so long to buffer, if I wasn't hearing the insane, screeching rambling they call singing of the all-famous High School Musical blaring out of the speakers in the living room [/insert sarcasm: oh JOY], if I wasn't so stomachwall-gnawingly hungry, if I hadn't been sitting here in front of the computer the whole day and growing roots, I wouldn't be blogging anyway(:

It's funny how much inspiration one can gain from a disney creation meant to entertain the general public, but in which (you might have already guessed) I sorely cannot stand.

-♬-

Podcast workshop tomorrow at Maris Stella High. Supposedly at the end of the workshop we're supposed to make a podcast. Something to do with multi-racial-ness. Or something to that effect anyway. Memory taking a bad turn. Again.

We have to be there by (gasp!) 10:30am. In other words, I have to be awake by 8:30. Who wakes up at 8:30 on a holiday?! Who even tries to wake up at that time?!

Correction: It is as good as criminal, as inhuman as burning people at the stake, as disgusting as eating an apple and finding half a worm left in it, as insane as downing acid, to wake up at 8:30(am!) on a holiday, much as I am looking forward to the event itself. Period.

-♬-

Goes off to pout like a spoilt 4-year-old who got sent to bed without TV.

JACKS!

2007-05-23T13:12:00.001+08:00

((((:

2007-05-23T12:42:00.000+08:00

Things to do when you are bored in school:

- Sleep

- Watch a movie under the table

- Look at gay people outside the window

- Doodle on (someone else's) table with a 6B pencil

- Irritate everyone else by making high pitched chirping noises and growling

I am (place major emphasis) not going to school to face the same incessent boredom again. I might just die.

---

Things to do after school:

- Hang around causeway point and wave to all your ex-schoolmates

- Skipppp off to Yishun and watch the people who just got dismissed. Pretend to feel for them.

- Run off to Orchard Road and hang around there until it's late
- Go online. Need I say more?

Zilch!

2007-05-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

If sleeping 13 hours and waking up at noon is the only thing I have to do in order to feel bernice (and i haven't felt myself in a long, long time) all day, then sleeping 13 hours and waking up at noon I shall.

I never realised how much I like being me.

And thus I realise I cannot wait for the holidays, when I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And nobody can get me to wake up at 6am or make me sleep at 10 unless I want to (which is pretty much impossible, but still), because there's no school, no commitments, no ccas, no nothing. -drifts off into bernicedreamland-

Galare raised their icecream price by 30cents. I feel my delicate world of icecreams crashing around me. 30cents. 30bloodyfreakingcents! That means for every 5 cups of cookies and cream I buy, I lose $1.50 more than I usually would. $1.50.

Now die.

(:

If I go crazy then will you still call me superman
If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand

2007-05-17T15:04:00.000+08:00

Life is like an hourglass. When it tilts and you're falling, all you have to do is wait until you fall on the soft sand on the other side. You're safe for a minute of two, but you think it's gonna last you forever. And then the hourglass turns and you find yourself falling through the air again, not knowing how long it is to the other end. Repeat.

My life goes in a freaking cycle.

My pillow sings me to sleep.

Read My Mind.

2007-05-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, the exams are over, blogger is (finally) working properly on my browser, and I am back in one piece, albeit buffeted and traumatised by the daily insane going-ons in my stagnant life.

What if you don't know
where you're going
Or if at the end
there's even an opening

What if you're so sure in your steps
Yet in reality are really falling

What if you try so hard
to get there
Yet it just keeps getting harder
till the end

What if you get through your life
And find nothing down the road

What then?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sheesh. I am going to fail everything. Everything.

I'm looking forward to the holidays. Imagine the 4am nights, the 1pm mornings, the lack of buttons-on-uniforms, the movies, the shopping. Imagine the lack of homework, the one glorious month free of the chains that school calls 'attendance'. Imagine the sunshine, the rain, the clouds.

Okay. I'm getting obscene. But you get the idea.

From now on, I shall make it my personal obligation to find (or, if my mind does not provide, create) something retarded to blog about on a (almost) daily basis. That should keep my mind alive while I go about the earth in my ripple-slippers and sloppy clothing.

Taking on the world by storm

2007-04-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

Say hello to the hot girls on billboards all over the world, and you will never want for anything again. Ohh, who needs real girls when you have plastic, perfect ones all over billboards, magazines and everywhere else? I am so sure.

Are all girls going to have to be like this one day in order to compete against women that aren't even real, that are computer-edited to ultimate perfection in every humane (and possibly non-humane) way possible? Are all girls going to spend tons of money they don't have on plastic surgery, liposuction, gym classes, a sad reach for the sky? Is this the future stereotype of the female generation? Toned and leggy, sultry full lips, boobs practically spilling out onto the pavement?

If so, I feel nothing. I just feel a tad saddened for the community.

whee?

2007-04-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

DJing tomorrow, recess and after school in the canteen. Be there(:

--------------------------------------------

Some bloopers on church bulletins:

>Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.
>Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
>For those of you who have children and didn't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
>This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
>Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
>Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
>Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the pastor in his study.
>This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
>The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
>Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
>The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Yes. I am that bored.

blankness

2007-04-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

I'm drawing a blank. I can't think of what to blog anymore. Ahh! My creativity is taking a turn for the worse.

Exams in a bit... I think I might be sick.

princess.

2007-04-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

In loving memory of
(I never was going to be credited for originality)
Princess Furball/Creamer/Nestle
Jan/Feb - 6th April 2007

We love you you little bundle of fur. You look more like a cotton ball or a fur rug than a rabbit, but we love you to bits for it anyway.

Love and kisses from everyone who met you(:

jabjabjab.

2007-04-05T12:35:00.000+08:00

New definitions for:

School - Stone. Not that it's anything new.
Doing project - Sitting around and discussing for 10 minutes, then sit down and play with rabbits and cards
Talking to a kaylin - Conversation with a big splash of secret lingo and laughter
Contact lenses - The art of randomly jabbing your own eyeball with a piece of plastic on your finger, then trying to take your eye out after that, while your friend sits there being amused by everything
Tuition - Rush home with really sore eyes at 7:50, 10minutes to tuition, still in uniform
Total exhaustion - Go to bed without lunch and dinner but being pretty happy all the same, despite very very red eyes

/ENDDD.

Oranges and honey

2007-04-02T20:57:00.000+08:00

I love this comic loads.

Found a recipe for 'glossy' hair on the net and decided to try it out... Sooo... Into the juicer went two oranges, a teaspoon of honey, and a spoonful of water.

It worked wonders. That is, if the orange floss would get out of my hair.

music&lyrics

2007-04-01T21:36:00.000+08:00

Music&Lyrics rocks. I don't care what any of you say, it still rocks.

Went to BugisJ and bugis street today. I didn't realise how much I missed the place since I last been there.. what, last year?

Bought three CDs (Kelly Clarkson, $8. Infinity on high, Fallout Boy, $11.50. Music&Lyrics Soundtrack, $18.90.), three tops (nice hoodie from PinkPanther, a shirt that says Good friends don't let their friends talk to ugly guys, and another that says Not tied down, maybe later)

Quite happy with the stuff I bought(:

littlest things.

2007-03-31T18:32:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

[Chorus]Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVD's
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
the first time that you introduced me to your friends
and you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
when I was feeling down, you made that face you do
no one in the world who could replace you

[Chorus]
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things remind me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend

So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

Littlest Things -Lily Allen

--------------------------
Went to Causeway Point today, got some new jeans, new clothes.

I also realised I have a fear of shop assistants. Not even a little fear either. But an avoid-and-run-awaaaaayy type fear. I can't help it. My instincts scream "RUNNNNN" when one of them come over and demand me to try on something that I look horrible in.

Don't you?

rantings of a crazy girl.

2007-03-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

Geez, if any other teacher walks in and starts complaining about us being a slow, mei jia jiao tail-end express class, I am going to go to the D&T lab, grab the tiny saw thing and start sawing him/her into tiny little pieces. And then I'll take those little pieces and throw them out the window into the pond for the fishes to eat. I'm dead serious.

I mean, fine, so we're not the sharpest tools in the shed. That doesn't mean we're stupid, or that our 'mother never teach'.

Ohh, and I've never been so misled in my life. I mean, sheesh. You'd think I would have gotten it earlier, but no. I had continued being almost impossibly clueless, and still am. Sometimes I think it's not worth it. Maybe it's better to wipe the slate clean. But if you ever knew how much memories are in that particular slate, and how much they meant, you wouldn't either.

Ohwell.

I still live off your smile.
I still breathe off your presence.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I still love you.

But then I dont know what the fuck I'm supposed to have done wrong.

it's a mess.

life.

2007-03-29T20:04:00.000+08:00

Well. Nothing much happened today.

I swear, if you photocopy one day of my average school life and into 7 pieces, I bet you can hardly see the difference between them all. Except maybe the occasional falling-asleep-during-class and sitting on smelly busses.

Damn, do I need a life.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just can't see the signs

someweird

2007-03-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

Spent one and a half hour sitting in the lecture theatre listening to some person talk about how to look for books in the library. I mean. Seriously. Looking for books.

No wait, correction: I spent one and a half hour in the lecture theatre smsing, doodling, staring at my green bottle of green (lipid-like) globules. Yes, that sounds so much better alrdy.

The teacher had to make a special announcement for me: Please, I don't want illegal immigrants. People not from 3F can you please return to your own classes. Those from 3H return to 3H (3H girl runs off). Please ah. I dont want any illegal immigrants today. Return to your classes.

-muttering from crowd-
-shuffles back to class-

I mean, what else could I do? I was the only one left who wasn'y in my own class, and even though she didn't mention my name, she knew I wasn't supposed to be there. And if i didn't move back there, I would have gotten hell back in her class.

Damn my class sucks! (no, you guys are nice. whoever it is who comes here and reads this)

Ohh, and I have to hand up my files tomorrow, and yet I haven't even taken them down from the shelve. I'm just gonna grab it tomorrow before I go off. Let's hope I rmbr though.

days of the week

2007-03-27T21:16:00.000+08:00

Is there something special about weekends, or something really horrible about weekdays?

I mean, 24, 20, 10, 3?! This. does not make sense.

would you?

2007-03-26T19:40:00.000+08:00

What guys think about girls 'fessing up:

"I think it's great when a girl tells you how she feels about you. Normally it's up to us guys to make all the running when it comes to relationships so having a girl tell you that she's got feelings for you is cool."
James, 16, Kembangan.

"It's good for a girl to tell you how she feels, if you feel the same way about her. If you don't fancy her, it's pretty embarrassing for both you and her but I don't think many girls would speak up unless they knew they were in with a chance!"
Thomas, 17, Bukit Timah.

"I would love it if a girl told me she liked me. It's a compliment isn't it and everyone likes receiving those. Even if I didn't fancy her, I'd still be pleased, I'd just have to let her down gently!"
Danny, 16, Choa Chu Kang.

------

But still, would you?

I know I would probably try one day, but then pass out at the last minute.

-melts-

2007-03-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

If this heat wave keeps up, all that will be left of bernice is a few drops of goo on the floor, my clothes and my eyes. I will be a puddle of glue with eyes. Damn. Out of everything I ever wanted to be, a puddle of goo (with eyes) is definitely not one of them.

Of course, going iceskating helps. Watching a movie helps. But still.

After watching Shutter last night I fell right into sleep. But then I woke up at 3am sweating (I think I had a nightmare, but I can only vaguely rmbr). And then I started being scared. Like, seriously scared. And then I remembered why I never used to watch horror movies.

-melts (into a puddle of goo with eyes)-

the trees are burning!

bored.

2007-03-23T23:23:00.000+08:00

I have spent a long long time reading stickman comics and I think my brain just switched off permanently. Shit.